Friday, February 1, 2008

Where Gentlemen Fear to Tread: Part 3

Now cradling in his arm The Prize, the hand-picked, plastic-wrapped panties, her Prince strode proudly to his true love’s door, wondering only whether she would first throw her arms around him in a passionate embrace, or utter the three little words every prince lives to hear: “You duh MAN!”

And so it was with great bewilderment that he watched the smile melt from her face, and saw her eyes move back and forth from him to the package, and took in her words: “What’s this?”

“Uh, panties?” he tried.

With trembling fingers she pulled apart the sticky flap, Pandora prying open the lid of certain doom, reached inside, and pulled out this:

“No,” she said, and then, “No!” she cried. “These aren’t panties! These are . . . these are big, huge, frumpy UNDERWEAR!” Her tears gushed forth like the rain, and he spoke the one word that leapt into his heart: “Huh?”

* * *

A short time and many words later, her Prince returned from Noble Quest Take 2. For his true love, he brought genuine lace panties.
For himself, he brought a valuable life lesson.

And if he ever figures out what it was, he’ll be sure to post it.

Drawings Courtesy of My Wife


  1. I just knew that was what you would pick up.
    GRANDMA UNDIES!!!Not even Grandmas wear them now.
    Thanks for giving me a good laugh.
    Don't even try and figure us girls out. There is not a snowflakes chance in hell of you doing it!
    Have a great weekend.

  2. ...had a feeling it might be what we refer to as "grandma's underwear". I laughed out loud so hard! I'm waiting for Shayne to come upstairs so he can take a peak. You do get a big "E" for effort and entertaining us all as well!
    Happy day,
    Tracie & Shayne

  3. I too, had surmised that you'd actually picked up some good old granny underwear (great drawings!). Cute story!

  4. I call them Grannie panties and one year at a work Christmas party my friend gave me a pack as a gag gift which I proceeded to open in front of the entire staff. GROSS! But this is truly funny and of course typical man style. No offense

  5. Oh your poor thing! You were trying so hard! And yet...while they may be comfy and secretly sexy to our men (?????) they are to us girls a symbol of that time of life when love, romance and all things sexy have come and gone...a.k.a. GRANDMA. They say, "Your bootie has seen better days." Though we may wear them of our own accord, for our men to CHOOSE them for us tells us that everyone in the universe is in agreement: What once was perky, cute and desirable has now become a very practical cushion on which to sit and needs a generous garment with which to keep it harnessed. Oh your poor had no idea, did you???

    (patting you on the back....hubby is sending you empathetic grimaces...he KNOWS your pain!)

  6. ...We just came by to see if you had posted any more Hero Tales...

    You are most likely pampering someone very special who has injured her back. Good luck to you kind gentleman.

    Tracie & Shayne

  7. I was back for Part 4, as well...but of COURSE you are taking care of Sweet Nancy as you should be! ;) What a sweetie she is!


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